I thought I had learned to accept my limitations quite well over the past 12+ years. Life however, continues to present new challenges and circumstances which test my resolve to accept things I can no longer do.
Saying goodbye to my Mom who is in a Calgary Hospice was extremely difficult, yet I knew there was no possible way I could remain there with her...by myself. My limitations are barely noticeable when my hubby is with me because he has unselfishly adapted through the years, making sure everything that needs to be done....is done. This includes driving, shopping for necessities, being my back-up brain for important information and so much more.
Kip and I talked over this struggle of acceptance. My heart was not angry or resentful, it was simply sad that I couldn't "be right there" for my Mom any longer. Realistically however, we had been there for six weeks and despite some tough times health-wise for Mom, we shared countless cherished moments. Mom was considered quite "stable" at this point and the Dr. and nurses felt it was a good time to head back home to take care of the responsibilities waiting for us. They were extremely supportive (and encouraging) of our taking a break, and promised to contact us immediately when a significant change in Mom's health occurred. My brother, and many family and friends have been faithful in visiting Mom so I also knew she wouldn't ever be "alone."
Most importantly, I needed to trust the One who never slumbers, nor sleeps....He knows my limitations and it is crucial for me to trust Him every step of the way through this difficult journey. He is always working for the good of all His children, even when we don't recognize it. One morning devotional reading made this relevant point: God's guidance for each one of His children is unique and He wants us to let HIM point us in the right direction every single day. There are no clauses or exceptions (such as a brain injury)...this is His message to all of us. He wants us to completely trust Him. His scheduling is never rushed...nor is it ever erased and re-written. HIS purpose and faithfulness never change. This was evident several times during our stay in Calgary....now it was crucial to trust Him with my precious Mom. After all, He loves her even more than I do.
Reassured and confident of His faithfulness, I willingly lifted up my Mom before our Heavenly Father, asking Him to be with her, to watch over her. My heart was filled with that wondrous peace which transcends all human understanding. Parting was still an emotional time, but both Mom and I know that God is holding both of us in His hands. And one day, in His appointed time, He will take her Home, where all of this tough stuff will be remembered no more....for all of eternity. And, I will see her again....prayerfully before she goes Home....joyfully when we meet again in Heaven.
~~~Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than ALL we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3: 20-21)~~~
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