"Transitional stages would endure lifelong. How I responded to them was a choice only I could make. I could live a full life with the disability, discovering new horizons no matter how challenging, or I could just exist, succumbing to the limitations of the disability. I have always tried to be optimistic, and this reflection ignited a fire of renewed anticipation in me. I could still choose to find HOPE, to discover FULLNESS IN LIFE once again. The option was there for the taking.........I had tasted the turmoil of unwanted change through those extremely difficult years, and I was very aware of the futility in trying to move forward without placing my hand, my complete trust, and my very life into the divine care of the One Who created me."
[Excerpt from my book Worthy In His Eyes: Part Two: Journey of Discovery...Chapter One: Lifelong Transitions]
When life changes happen, you will find yourself standing before the Bridge of Transition. You may not see what lies ahead because the pathway gets foggy or it twists and turns. You may be tempted to stay where you are because you are afraid to venture into the unknown.
I encourage you to dare to take that first step forward.....in faith. Doing so takes courage, but that step of courage will save you from a life void of growth and purpose....a life where you would simply just exist.
God's Word IS a lamp before our feet and a light upon our pathway. His Light only shines as far as He wants us to see. He will guide us according to our capabilities---not our debilities. Each step will be a step of victory, even if we fall, as long as we reach for His hand to get back up again and continue to follow His lead.
Doing this requires complete trust in Him and that can only come from knowing Who He is. The only way to know Him is to read His Holy Word. Spend time alone with Him. Talk to Him and let Him speak to your heart. That first step toward Him during a very difficult time will empower you to embark on a journey of purpose, strength, hope and abundant living. You will eventually look back, but only briefly, for you will rejoice in your decision to trust Him.
"The initiation of the first three years seemed to go by ever so slowly. Questions, fear, testing, trials, information, answers and insight swept Kip and me through a torrent of confusion and unknowns, finally bringing us to a place of definition. I was conclusively diagnosed as having a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury; the source of what was causing such upheaval within my body was finally identified. This intruder now had a name.
[Excerpt from my book worthy in his eyes: Part one: who is this stranger? chapter two: permanent disability]
I was devastated when I heard the term "Mild Traumatic Brain Injury." I was more than aware of the challenges I was having, but never imagined that type of diagnosis. For three years I had been through endless testing, mostly with neurologists, head trauma specialists, psychologists and psychiatrists. I had tried so hard to "work through it," with hopes of eventual healing.
Rivers of tears fell after the diagnosis, not just from me, but also from my life-mate, Kip. What lay ahead of us? What would the rest of our lives be like? What did the future hold?
I realize that all of us ask those same questions at some point in our lives, although not everyone acquires a disability. But since the accident I have realized that Jesus is the only One who can guide us safely through the storms of life. Tears are healthy and should be shed when our hearts break. But we mustn't let our tears flood over us so much that we can't see Christ's life-saving hand reaching out to guide us to a safe harbour.
I eventually recognized God's provision as He worked through an incredibly persistent team of specialists. Their research and testing labelled the culprit causing chaos in my life. Their counselling and support armed Kip and I with knowledge and even though the diagnosis was devastating and permanent, Kip and I finally had something to work with. It had a name. It was a starting point.
Full understanding would take many years. It was time to begin the journey of discovery and trusting Christ as my/our life-guide would make all the difference.
His arm is extended, His hand is open.......reach out to him......
trust him. He will carry you to calmer seas.
"That one moment--on that particular day, at that particular time--changed the course of my life. I was unquestionably unprepared for the surge of emotions and challenges I was about to face." -Kathleen M. Pritchard
[Excerpt from my book worthy in his eyes: Part one: who is this stranger? chapter one: waves of uncertainty]
During powerful coastal storms the wind roars and waves dance wildly, pounding the shoreline with thundering force. Safe inside, I find these storms mesmerizing and intensely beautiful. I am in complete awe of God's power.
However, I know those sentiments would change dramatically if I was caught out on that violent, unrelenting sea. Symbolically, that's where I felt I was in the days, weeks and months following the car accident. The calm, beautiful sea of life I was paddling on, suddenly tossed me around on mounting waves of doubt and uncertainty. Outwardly nothing had changed, but I felt as though a stranger had taken up residence inside of me.
I was always aware of God and I spoke to Him frequently. But my prayers were messy and the simplicity of chatting with Him as I had before changed. I was confused & frightened and I wanted answers. I needed answers. I found myself stating my "wish list"--what I wanted Him to do. I didn't know who I was anymore and I desperately wanted my familiar life back again. I couldn't fathom why He was being silent to my pleas.
I tried to remind myself that GOD is the one always in control. Yet I became frustrated because I couldn't understand why He was letting all of this happen. He could have chosen to prevent the accident, He could have altered the timing so the car trying to speed by me on a corner of the highway was just a little faster, or a little slower. Or, He could have taken me Home to Heaven, right then and there. But He didn't do any of these. Why? I found myself struggling just to get through each day and I couldn't identify the problem.
Today I look back with eyes that recognize God's hand during that time. He knew I needed to surrender everything to Him. Everything. He patiently listened to every word uttered, whether it was out loud or in the silence of my heart. I was scared and doubts were heightened through fear of the unknown. But, I was talking to Him, or perhaps more accurately at Him....and that meant I knew He was there.
I encourage you to seek Him, talk to Him and trust Him. You may be on a rough ride, turbulent seas tossing your emotions in all directions, but HE is the only One Who can quiet the storms, especially the storms within our souls. And that's where it counts the most.
*I would love feedback from you.....there are millions of folks who experience similar struggles albeit through different situations/circumstances. Perhaps you have a question, perhaps you need prayer. perhaps you have some encouragement or hope to share because of your own spiritual growth through tough times. Please feel free to interact here.....we walk this journey of life together.......[comments will go through approval process before being posted]
Worth how much? Do you ever ask that question? Have you ever been thrust into a situation so overwhelming you lose sight of who you are? I asked that question countless times after a serious car accident instantly thrust me onto an unknown & unfamiliar pathway.
There were times when I would stand in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection with bewilderment. It felt as though a stranger was staring back at me. Confusion, short-term memory loss, extreme sensitivity to audible and visual stimuli, and loss of concentration became unwanted companions on a daily basis.
I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was frightened, and tested to the core, overwhelming limitations thrusting my personal and professional life into chaos.
I had no idea that millions of people walk similar painful journeys, albeit with different types of burdens. There are also loved ones and caregivers who walk the journey with us. It is not easy. But...there is Hope! It is imperative that we look beyond the reflection in the mirror to the Light of the One Who walks alongside of us. He will be our constant Companion, He will be our Guide. He will also be the Strength which carries us forward when we feel we can’t continue anymore.
The ensuing posts will focus on my published book: “Worthy In His Eyes.....Looking Beyond the Reflection in the Mirror.” [Available online through Amazon.com or .ca, Chapters/Indigo.ca, great canadian authors.com, Barnes and Noble.com, christianbook.com as well as through this site.]
Desiring to discover God's Purpose is what led me to write about my journey. That, along with His persistent nudging. Please share this site as well as my book availability with others.
To encourage another is one of the most powerful things we can do.
Starting from my book's preface, I will share excerpts of my journey from overwhelming frustrations and [erroneous] feelings of unworthiness to baby steps forward, solutions, and victories. I will also include the life-saving, life-giving role my husband had as our world together was changed forever.
From beginning to end my relationship with God and the discovery of His Purpose will blanket my words. It was His saving grace that empowered me to not only accept, but embrace this new pathway. God does not see our disabilities---He only sees our abilities. Daily, He saturates my soul with the profound truth that I am indeed Worthy In His Eyes.
And, so are you!!
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