I thought I had learned to accept my limitations quite well over the past 12+ years. Life however, continues to present new challenges and circumstances which test my resolve to accept things I can no longer do.
Saying goodbye to my Mom who is in a Calgary Hospice was extremely difficult, yet I knew there was no possible way I could remain there with her...by myself. My limitations are barely noticeable when my hubby is with me because he has unselfishly adapted through the years, making sure everything that needs to be done....is done. This includes driving, shopping for necessities, being my back-up brain for important information and so much more.
Kip and I talked over this struggle of acceptance. My heart was not angry or resentful, it was simply sad that I couldn't "be right there" for my Mom any longer. Realistically however, we had been there for six weeks and despite some tough times health-wise for Mom, we shared countless cherished moments. Mom was considered quite "stable" at this point and the Dr. and nurses felt it was a good time to head back home to take care of the responsibilities waiting for us. They were extremely supportive (and encouraging) of our taking a break, and promised to contact us immediately when a significant change in Mom's health occurred. My brother, and many family and friends have been faithful in visiting Mom so I also knew she wouldn't ever be "alone."
Most importantly, I needed to trust the One who never slumbers, nor sleeps....He knows my limitations and it is crucial for me to trust Him every step of the way through this difficult journey. He is always working for the good of all His children, even when we don't recognize it. One morning devotional reading made this relevant point: God's guidance for each one of His children is unique and He wants us to let HIM point us in the right direction every single day. There are no clauses or exceptions (such as a brain injury)...this is His message to all of us. He wants us to completely trust Him. His scheduling is never rushed...nor is it ever erased and re-written. HIS purpose and faithfulness never change. This was evident several times during our stay in Calgary....now it was crucial to trust Him with my precious Mom. After all, He loves her even more than I do.
Reassured and confident of His faithfulness, I willingly lifted up my Mom before our Heavenly Father, asking Him to be with her, to watch over her. My heart was filled with that wondrous peace which transcends all human understanding. Parting was still an emotional time, but both Mom and I know that God is holding both of us in His hands. And one day, in His appointed time, He will take her Home, where all of this tough stuff will be remembered no more....for all of eternity. And, I will see her again....prayerfully before she goes Home....joyfully when we meet again in Heaven.
~~~Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than ALL we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3: 20-21)~~~
As we prepare to head back home for a bit, the past few weeks almost seem a blur. On the one hand, it has been tough to watch my Mom enter this part of her life's journey. The Hospice staff have been so professional, while also exhibiting genuine care and kindness...not only to Mom but to us, her family, as well.
Many, many friends and family have brightened her room and her spirits. I have heard countless stories as folks share how Mom has touched their lives individually. Ages vary from young, in-between and those wise in years.
Today we had a double helping of blessings from years gone by. Two young women came to spend some time with Mom, granddaughters of a very special friend of Mom's who passed away about 10 years ago. These "girls" drove quite a distance to come to see Mom. There were giggles as memories were shared--memories which time cannot blur or erase---despite a trendy change of hair colour and the blessing of parenthood. It has been so rewarding to see how each member of this special family has remained faithful to my Mom--a woman they have loved and enjoyed for many years.
After leaving Mom later this afternoon, we went to visit my girlfriend's mom. Lill has been my friend since grade 2, and she and her husband generously opened their home to us during the past couple of weeks while we remained in Calgary to be with Mom. I really wanted to visit with her Mom, so today was the day Kip and I popped over. I hadn't had the opportunity to visit with her for many years although we touched base a couple of times. It was a wonderful visit--a joyous and happy time, chatting about the present and the past. However, it was when she offered us a treat that something truly special happened. I took one bite and it was like biting into a memory. The taste immediately transported me back to when I was 10 years old! It was a Dutch treat and I guess I've not had a taste of it since I was very young, hanging out at my girlfriend's! It was a wonderful sensation and a gift I was very thankful for.
Sometimes our memories fade or wane--sometimes they just can't be "called up." Yet there are times when God sprinkles a memory or two upon us, blessing us with something very special---recollections of treasured friendships. Some carry on throughout our lives, others are enjoyed for only a season in life. Yet all are precious and all tell a story about those whose lives change ours in some beautiful way.
Hold on tight to those friendships which sparkle in your treasure-chest of life...they are priceless jewels.
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