"That one moment--on that particular day, at that particular time--changed the course of my life. I was unquestionably unprepared for the surge of emotions and challenges I was about to face." -Kathleen M. Pritchard
[Excerpt from my book worthy in his eyes: Part one: who is this stranger? chapter one: waves of uncertainty]
During powerful coastal storms the wind roars and waves dance wildly, pounding the shoreline with thundering force. Safe inside, I find these storms mesmerizing and intensely beautiful. I am in complete awe of God's power.
However, I know those sentiments would change dramatically if I was caught out on that violent, unrelenting sea. Symbolically, that's where I felt I was in the days, weeks and months following the car accident. The calm, beautiful sea of life I was paddling on, suddenly tossed me around on mounting waves of doubt and uncertainty. Outwardly nothing had changed, but I felt as though a stranger had taken up residence inside of me.
I was always aware of God and I spoke to Him frequently. But my prayers were messy and the simplicity of chatting with Him as I had before changed. I was confused & frightened and I wanted answers. I needed answers. I found myself stating my "wish list"--what I wanted Him to do. I didn't know who I was anymore and I desperately wanted my familiar life back again. I couldn't fathom why He was being silent to my pleas.
I tried to remind myself that GOD is the one always in control. Yet I became frustrated because I couldn't understand why He was letting all of this happen. He could have chosen to prevent the accident, He could have altered the timing so the car trying to speed by me on a corner of the highway was just a little faster, or a little slower. Or, He could have taken me Home to Heaven, right then and there. But He didn't do any of these. Why? I found myself struggling just to get through each day and I couldn't identify the problem.
Today I look back with eyes that recognize God's hand during that time. He knew I needed to surrender everything to Him. Everything. He patiently listened to every word uttered, whether it was out loud or in the silence of my heart. I was scared and doubts were heightened through fear of the unknown. But, I was talking to Him, or perhaps more accurately at Him....and that meant I knew He was there.
I encourage you to seek Him, talk to Him and trust Him. You may be on a rough ride, turbulent seas tossing your emotions in all directions, but HE is the only One Who can quiet the storms, especially the storms within our souls. And that's where it counts the most.
*I would love feedback from you.....there are millions of folks who experience similar struggles albeit through different situations/circumstances. Perhaps you have a question, perhaps you need prayer. perhaps you have some encouragement or hope to share because of your own spiritual growth through tough times. Please feel free to interact here.....we walk this journey of life together.......[comments will go through approval process before being posted]
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