"Encouragement from professionals to openly grieve the loss of who I once was did prove to be extremely valuable in the healing process. I candidly admitted that "grieving the loss of who I was" sounded extremely strange to me. I was still alive, so what do I grieve for? What do I grieve about? As a Christian, was it wrong to grieve over my losses when I knew God had allowed the changes to take place? What does the word grief itself really mean?
I had been trying to cover up my fears, my tears, my frustrations and my feelings of helplessness. Not always successfully in public, and seldom successfully at home. Yet I, and the psychologists, psychiatrists and neuropsychologists counseling me definitely knew it wasn't depression---I always began each day eager to move forward despite all the rough spots.
I was already experiencing grief, but had interpreted it as weakness, failure and a lack of faith because my clouded understanding of grief only pertained to someone physically passing away.
It was time to clarify and address the grieving symptoms. Letting go, surrendering all to God, was a very vulnerable place to enter. Giving it all to Him. I felt as an unformed ball of clay waiting to be remoulded into something new.........."
[Excerpt[s] from my book Worthy In His Eyes: Part Three: Valley of Emotional Turmoil...Chapter Three: LETTING GO]
LOOKING BACK: Grief is a powerful emotion. Recognizing it and working through it can bring healing and freedom. On the flip side, denying it and/or wallowing in it can pull you into a deep dark cavern of hopelessness. Once again we are summoned to make a life-changing choice.
For me, reliance on God to help me confront the temptation to revisit memories of what I used to do, how well I used to do it, and the regrets of what I could no longer do was crucial. It was also one of the best decisions I have ever made.
God has promised to always walk through the valley of grief with His children. I believe what is discovered and released in the depths of that valley refines and purifies us. Surrendering everything to Jesus, completely LETTING GO, withholding nothing, we become thoroughly cleansed deep down inside. It is a necessary and very healthy step along our journey to move forward.
As spotless as an untouched canvas, God will use brushstrokes of faithfulness, compassion, divine strength and unconditional love to transform us into the beautiful and unique masterpieces He created. He is the One Who chooses to give our lives worth and beauty regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in. We need only to follow His guidance, draw on His strength, and recognize our value and worth in His eyes. LET GO and LET GOD.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3: 17b-21 NIV
Blessings on your week ahead.
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